Good evening. I'm not, and you're Chevy Chase. Here now, the news:
Huffington Post is reporting that Aretha Franklin will miss scheduled concert dates in New York after falling and injuring herself on Sunday. She has broken ribs, abdominal pain, and is undergoing tests to see if she still feels like a natural woman.
In a followup to yesterday's madness about Nicolas Cage disappearing his crazy ass to Bermuda and bailing on the Joel Schumacher film Trespass, Deadline New York now says that the father of Kal-El is no longer gone for good, and will actually return to play the role for which he was originally cast, Nicole Kidman's husband. This leaves Liev Schrieber out of a role, but screw him. All this means that Cage gets to keep his $7 million payday and his more-lunatic-than-thou reputation, and Schumacher gets to start a week or two late. And Liev gets to stay home and masturbate to internet porn, apparently.
In case you were wondering how Paramount could further ruin the GI Joe franchise and sully your childhood memories, fret not: The Wrap tells us that Stephen Sommers, who directed the first film, will return to lend his talents to the sequel. The only good thing about this is that Zombieland screenwriters Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick have written a script the studio likes. Unfortunately this pretty much guarantees that the script will be revised out the ass and soon Snake Eyes will be singing karaoke.
Oh my prophetic soul, dept: I mentioned Babar in a post yesterday, and here we are today with a news item about it. According to Deadline New York, the plucky elephant monarch is coming back to the big screen after a fondly remembered cartoon series from Nelvana, a few indifferently-received (and in at least one case, utterly disappointing) feature films, and a long layoff during which he was undoubtedly eating his peanuts and checking his trunks. It's nice to see the cartoon symbol of French colonialism get a new treatment--or at least it would be, if the people doing the treating weren't planning it as a combination of live action and CG. And if their names weren't Marty Bowen and Wyck Godfrey, who run Temple Hill--better known as the producers of the Twilight films. Stay tuned to find out if Taylor Lautner gets cast as Zephir.
DNAinfo reports that central Park was invaded yesterday--by ballet dancers. 230 tutu-wearing toe-steppers descended on Namburg Bandshell in order to break a Guiness world record. They spent one minute and seven seconds en pointe--which is a hell of a lot harder than you think it is--and carved out their own little niche in the record books. At least, until someone else organizes a larger group.
Robert Boyle, who helped Alfred Hitchcock create some of the most iconic images in film history, has passed away at the age of 100. Thanks to the New York Times for reminding us how great the greats were, and what they did to make themselves great.
Stop the fuckin' presses, this just in: TAYLOR MOMSEN HAS BETRAYED AN ENTIRE GENERATION BY WEARING PANTS. Thank you. You may now return to not giving a shit about Taylor Momsen. I know I will.
And finally, in news for which the term "cautiously optimistic" seems to have been invented, Pajiba's generally-reliable Hollywood Cog is reporting that not only is there a new film version of The Shadow in the works, but that none other than Quentin Tarantino is being named as a potential director and co-writer. This is not hard news, however--the property is not a big priority at Fox, and a couple of directors have already been attached to the project and passed on it. That said . . . the possibilities of a Tarantino-written/directed Shadow film are delightfully tantalizing, to say the least. Just keep Frank Miller the hell away, Hollywood. Please. I BEG you, no more.
And that's the news. Good pleasant, and have a tomorrow night.