12 August 2010

The Shine Of Your Japan, The Sparkle Of Your China, The Notes From The News

Good afterning, fellow webjunkies. Bit of a slow one again, but after scouring and scouring and scouring, I realized those cooked in stains just weren't coming out, so I decided to post some news bumpers instead. Lucky bloody you!

Things to be thankful for, dept.: Comics page mainstay Cathy Guisewite has decided that 34 years of the same two or three jokes is long enough. She's ending our suffering by announcing that she's taking her terminally unfunny comic strip Cathy off life support as of October 3. Now all we need to do is have Garfield put to sleep . . .

Reasons to love the internet, dept: some enterprising young goob with time on his/her/their/its hands has recut the Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World trailer, substituting panels from the original comic in place of the filmed material. This is awesome because NNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDSSS. Actually no, it is pretty cool. But still: NNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDSSS.

Brolin. Theron. Reitman. Cody. Young Adult. VOMIT.

NBS -- sorry, NBC (and yeah I recycle my jokes, it's ecologically friendly to compost one's manure) has ordered a pilot for a new sitcom from Rescue Me co-creator Peter Tolan. The show, titled Brave New World, centers on "the staff at a Plymouth Plantation-type living museum that have people reenact the way the Pilgrims once went about their days." This is a concept so high it's had the munchies since 1972. All we need  now is John Schuck playing a robot cop and a wacky next door neighbor played by Jaleel White and we can start another round of hosannas about TV's golden age!

Site favorite Pajiba gets the first of two links today, as they reveal the poster for Julie Taymor's upcoming adaptation of The Tempest, starring Helen Mirren as Prospera instead of Prospero, a change that's sure to have Bard purists sweating all over their Francis Bacon dartboards. The movie also stars Felicity Jones, Djimon Hounsou, Alfred Molina, Chris Cooper, David Strathairn, Alan Cumming, and  . . . Russell Brand? How the fuck did HE get in here? Still, the poster is pretty fucking awesome.

Potentially good: a biopic of John Belushi's life is in the works. Potentially interesting: Todd Phillips, director of The Hangover and Old School, is currently attached to direct. Potentially disastrous: the screenwriter is reportedly going to be Steven Conrad, who wrote The Pursuit of Happyness. All we need now is to cast Jonah Hill as Belushi, and nobody will know what the fuck is going on.

Pajiba Linkage 2: The Linkenning, dept: Pajiba contributor Courtney Enlow offers a brilliant deconstruction of Eat, Pray, Love, the entire "priv-lit" genre, and why we spend so much time fucking around trying to discover ourselves when what we need to do is spend our time learning to live in our own skins and dealing with the messes in our lives, which will still be there when we get back from fucking off in Bali for a year.
Oh, also: Deep fried Snickers bars are apparently the shizznit.

Finally, Halle Berry talks about being naked in the September issue of Vogue. And for those of you who just clicked over there and came back all pissed off at me, I apologize for my poor phrasing while secretly laughing up my sleeve at you.

And that's it for this one. Tune in again tomorrow when I will reveal more strangeness and snark. But that is for tomorrow. Now is the time on Nighthawk Postcards when we dance:

Good night, and good lunch.

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