04 October 2010

Cry, cry, if it makes you feel better, set it all down in The Notes From The News

Evening all. Plans abound here, very busy. I'll let you know if anything comes of anything. Meanwhile, I have here some fresh news:

Those who ignore history are doomed to rewrite it, dept.: Fox has landed Tim Burton's adaptation of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I'm conflicted about this. On the one hand, this whole adding zombies and vampires and Cthulhu to classic literature and history is a one-note played-out joke that was never very funny in the first place. On the second hand, I haven't enjoyed a single Tim Burton movie in years. So where does the conflict come in? Well, when that much suck occupies the same space, it might just produce something watchable. In which case -- ahhh, fuck that shit. How could this possibly be good?

ABC has axed the new show My Generation after airing just two episodes. The only surprise about this is that it actually took them two episodes to do it

I don't want to go on the cart, dept.: Stephen J. Cannell, creator of such memorable TV shows as The Rockford Files, Greatest American Hero, The A-Team, Hunter, The Commish, 21 Jump Street, and about a bajillion others, died last Thursday at the untimely and unfortunately suggestive age of 69. Besides being a hugely prolific and successful producer, Cannell was the author of 16 books,  and a tireless advocate for children and adults with learning disabilities. Toss the last sheet over your shoulder, Steve, and take a well deserved rest. 

The still-gorgeous Susan Sarandon gets interviewed by The Telegraph and tells us she's still a hippie chick at heart. No word on whether she ever stopped being a cheap bitch and bought that umbrella. (Recycling is good for the environment, so I do it with my jokes.)

Speaking of Sarandons, The Fright Night remake is continuing apace, and news now is that the original film's star Chris Sarandon has filmed a cameo role that will tie the new film to the old in an "appropriate" way. Which is more than we can say for David Tennant apparently portraying Peter Vincent as Criss Angel on meth. 

STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES: Everybody's favorite train wreck Courtney Love, posted a revealing picture of herself on Twitter. This is important news --IMPORTANT FUCKING NEWS, DO YOU HEAR ME -- because she has never done this before and surely will never do so again. Thank you Huffington Post for making my day more inter*YAAWWWWNNNNN*esting.

Warner Bros. has decided to move the Wonder Woman movie from the big screen to series TV, said series to be helmed by David E. Kelley, producer of Boston Legal, The Practice, Chicago Hope andAlly McBeal. Because you take one look at that kind of resume and think, "Yeah, this guy can helm a show based on a bondage-themed comic book about a gorgeous immortal super-powered Amazon who likes to fly her invisible jet around and tie people up while wearing a skimpy costume," and I'll be in my bunk. 

The Sluttification of Miley Cyrus Part 3, The Sluttening, dept.: 17 year old Miley went out clubbin' the other night. At a 21 and over bondage themed nightclub. In hot pants and a skimpy shirt. Yeah, she's gonna turn out juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust fine. 

And that ends this extra-raunchy edition of Notes From The News. Hope you enjoyed! Now is the time on Nighthawk Postcards when we get electrified:

Have a good night!

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