Time has flown away and around and back again, and here I am, my eyes on the prize and my thighs on the master and my master on the bait . . . wait, that's not right, is it? Well, I guess it depends what the bait catches. Meantime here's a bevy of bumpers dumped on your rump.
I don't want to go on the cart, dept.:Sad news. Joseph Gordon-Levitt's big brother Dan Gordon-Levitt has died. Dan, known as "Burning Dan" because of his Burning Man Festival performances, was a key player on JGL's hitRECord site, and was well-liked and admired on that community. JGL posted a moving tribute to him on the site. Condolences to Joseph and his family in what has to be a very difficult time.
Emma Stone has been cast as Gwen Stacy in the Spider-Man reboot, and not as Mary Jane as originally assumed. This is getting more interesting rather than less. It seems like Sony is actually trying to make the franchise good again. Also, did you know Emma Stone is a blonde? Walloping websnappers!
This just in: James Franco is actually Francesca Fiore. And if you got that joke, you're old like me.
Idris Elba says that Marvel Entertainment has signed him to a multi-picture deal. Since nobody really wants to see multiple films with him as the Heimdall character, this might mean a revival of Blade, or better yet, a Luke Cage movie at long last. This is the kind of news for which the term "cautious optimism" was invented. And better Elba than the damn "I'm on a horse" dude.
Battlestar Galactica boy genius Ronald D. Moore is apparently working on a series remake of Wild Wild West for eventual pitching to the networks. Because what the world needs now is another bad reboot like I need a hole in the head.
Alexander Skarsgard talks to British GQ about various subjects, including bein' nekkid. You're welcome, ladies.
I'll shout and scream, I'll kill the king, I'll rail at all his servants, dept.: For those of you wondering if Steve Albini is still a monstrous douchebag who pisses all over friendships and points fingers at people for doing things he himself has done, the answer will prrrrooooobably not be a surprise.
Bruce Willis has confirmed that Die Hard 5 is imminent. No, it's affluent. No, it's a meat helmet. Negative, it is a meat popsicle. No, wait. I'm confused. What were we talking about again?
And finally: Some dude -- wait, let me clarify: some awesome dude -- in Seattle has started a campaign to collect ten million dollars in order to pay Weezer to break up, which I laughed . The only thing that could be better than this is Weezer responding. Which they did. Patrick Wilson says they'll do the "deluxe" breakup for $20 million. I guess the deluxe comes with fries, cole slaw, and your choice of soup or salad.
And I'd better end there before my jokes get any worse. Now is the time on Nighthawk Postcards when we dance:
It's an oldie but a goodie.