16 December 2010

Into the blue again, after the money's gone; once in a lifetime, Notes From The News are flowing underground

Evening all! The doctor's visit went well, though I'm now worn out and need to grab a nosh and a nap. Of course since I'm now home watching my son I only get to do one of those things. Ah well, Kay Sarah Sarah and all that. If I got to do what I wanted all the time I'd probably be dead by now anyway. And on that happy thought, here now the news:

The Tin Woodman knew very well he had no heart, dept.: Corpse Bride director Mike Johnson has been tapped by Vanguard Films to helm Oz Wars, a "dark, slick, sexy and dangerous" updating of  . . . No. I just can't do it. I can't. I'm sorry folks. there's nothing funny here. This, this right here, is everything that is wrong and fucked up about Hollywood today. Everything needs to be darker, sexier, edgier. Well fuck you, the Wizard of goddamn Oz is not and should not be any of those things. Different is not necessarily good, sexy isn't necessarily necessary, and there's a reason some stories work best just the way they are. Whoever thought this chit up needs to see the Wizard about a new goddamn brain. 

Torchwood casting news, Lone Starr's Schwartz is bigger than yours edition: Bill Pullman is the latest American actor to join the cast of the venerable British S-F show. Pullman will play Oswald Jones, a convicted murder "boiling with lust and rage." and Cap'n Jack just fell in love a little. 

Has he lost his mind, can he see or is he blind? dept.: It looks like Jon Favreau is out of the Iron Man franchise for good. It's partly because of money, and partly because Favreau wants to move on to new horizons . . . but mostly it seems to be because he has no confidence in Marvel Entertainment's ability to tie the Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and Avengers franchises together. Because they've only been doing that for the last forty or fifty years, you know. 

Charlie Sheen will not face any charges at all for his hotel room meltdown of recent note, this despite allegedly: a) having paid a woman to have sex with him, which is still illegal the last I checked, b) being publicly intoxicated, which is also illegal, c) destroying hotel property, which is also a crime, and d) by all accounts being coked out of his god damn mind, which is, yep, illegal. So Charlie gets off scott free for activities which, if you or I were caught doing them, would land us in the gow of hoose and keys to same thrown away sight unseen. Well done, Charlie. well done indeed. Thanks for proving once and for all that being a far gone drugged out bag of crap is a victimless crime. 

Don Cheadle's film about the life of Miles Davis -- call it a "biopic" like The Playlist does and MIles would likely rise from the grave and beat your ass -- is one step closer to a greenlight. A script has been written and frequent Davis collaborator Herbie Hancock has been tapped to score. All it needs now is financing, and seriously, I don't see how an investor could go wrong with this one. Unless Miles actually did rise from the grave and beat their asses. 

The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame is inducting four very worthy nominees this year. They're also inducting Neil Diamond. 

Today in who gives a fuck:

  • Emma Stone says simulated sex is fun. In other news, Emma Stone clearly hasn't had real sex yet. 
  • Miley Cyrus is not all that concerned with the now-infamous bong ripping video that's been making the rounds and making people far too crazy; she says she's just young and having fun. And once she gets tu dumb and full of cum, there'll be a much more troubling video for people to worry about. (WHAT. She's eighteen now, sheesh.)  
  • Angelina Jolie says she was touched to be nominated for a Golden Globe for best comedy/musical in The Tourist. What she didn't add is that the people who nominated the film as a comedy are probably touched, too. 

Robert De Niro has taken time out from completely destroying his legacy -- sorry, promoting Little Fockers -- to confirm that he, Martin Scorcese, Joe Pesci and Al Pacino are making The Irishmantogether. The movie, about legendary mob hitman Frank Sheeran, should start production next year. Hopefully they ordered enough scenery for Pacino to munch on. 

Universal and Zombie Dino De Laurentis are producing a new version of Firestarter, because . . . um . . . well, nobody's really sure, actually. Also? they want to give is "more edge"  . . . because a movie about a little girl who can blow shit up with her mind just isn't edgy enough. Maybe it needs more sparkly teenybop vampires, I hear that's considered edgy. Explosions and fires are so played out, you know . . . 

This just in: Mel Gibson will show us his beaver in March. 

 . . . and that's it from my end. Hope your end is feeling good -- ask the person who's feeling it to be absolutely sure, Now is the time on Nighthawk Postcards when we HADOUKEN!


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