28 October 2013

Ten Things I Have Done That You (Probably) Haven't

Over at John Scalzi's blog there's a list of ten things Scalzi has done or has had happen to him that are most likely unique in your experience. He invited people to crate their own lists and either put them in the comments or link to their lists in the comments. Since I've been away for a bit I thought it would be a good way to get back here and do something someone might want to see. Or point and laugh at, as the case may be. In any event, here's my list:

1) Was hit by a car and knocked 30 feet, suffering only minor injuries. In the process I was literally knocked into the next town. The intersection where it happened was the "border" between two suburbs, so I was hit by the car in one town and landed in the second one. Caused a jurisdictional nightmare that took about 2 years to solve.

2) Won a giant foam rubber cowboy hat in a dancing contest.

3) Met Marshall Brodien, who played Wizzo, the World's Wackiest Wizard on WGN's Bozo's Circus, in a restaurant men's room. He was gracious enough to shake my hand, seeing as how I'd just washed it.

4) Saw the Violent Femmes and the Grateful Dead live at the same concert venue on the same date.

5) Flew on the same plane as Spike Lee from New York to Chicago. He was in first class and I saw him when I was boarding.

6) Had the tip of my right middle finger chopped off in an industrial accident.

7) Sold a pie to once-notorious Chicago TV/media critic Gary Deeb.

8) Drove 800 miles from Chicago to New York in 2005 in a moving van, with my then-girlfriend, now-wife in the passenger seat, and two cats in separate carriers on the steering column between us, through one of the worst winter storms in then-recent memory. There was sleet and ice on day 1, at which point we discovered that while we had plenty of de-icer for the windshield, the washer jets did not work properly, rendering it useless. On day 2 we drove through thick fog in the Pennsylvania mountains, our hazards on, at about 30-40 mph, and still made it to Jersey by nightfall. And on the third day, it was 50-60 degrees and shirtsleeve weather.

9) Danced to "The Rainbow Connection" at a wedding reception (specifically, mine).

10) Almost impaled myself on the handlebar of the bicycle I was riding at about age 10 when I went over a hill too fast, went airborne off the seat, and the wheel turned sideways to present the handlebar--which was missing a grip and was just a hollow tube of bare, slightly rusty metal--right to my oncoming belly. I bounced off. To this day I do not know why I am not dead.

That's my list--what's yours? Head over to Scalzi's blog and comment! I'm closing comments here, in fact, so you'll have no choice, muaahahahah!