10 February 2014

Eleven life lessons, offered without context

1. It is better to remain silent and be considered infrequently if at all than it is to open one's mouth and show everyone what an asshole you are.

2. When you hear/see the phrases "politically correct" and "censorship" multiple times within the same document/conversation, it is invariably a sign that the person using them is essentially saying they want to be an asshole without any social/economic repercussions whatsoever. Avoid such people and their work as you would a bubonic rat.

3. There may come a time in one's career, when one's best work is long in the past, when it becomes better to let younger heads prevail. Old does not necessarily mean wise, especially when one has done nothing but speak and act unwisely in recent years.

4. Read everything in detail before you sign anything. And never assume the person shoving a pen in your hand has your best interests at heart.

5. White people should never, under any circumstances, invoke slavery to evoke any state of affairs pertaining to them or to their lives. Ever. Not even once. No, seriously. You may think it's a pertinent point but I guarantee you all you have on your hands is a gigantic pile of horseshit.

6. Corollary to #4: saying you requested a document be changed because certain language and turns of phrase troubled you means nothing if you went ahead and signed the original document anyway. Dumbass.

7. There comes a time when writing, saying and doing things only to shock, with no apparent forethought behind those actions, is no longer shocking. Instead it comes across as the tired, pathetic result of a childish need for attention and approval. As witness when the approval stops coming and the tantrums begin.

8. If you are an asshole and someone tells you to stop being an asshole, and you keep behaving like an asshole, and a group of people then get together and decide that maybe some sort of anti-assholery measures should be put into place, it is not censorship. It's just that a lot of people don't really like a bunch of assholes hanging around. Go figure.

9. Whingeing about it only makes you--wait for it--more of an asshole! Again, who'd'a thunk it?

10. If you are a professional, fucking act like it.

11. Finally: If you don't like the room, then the door is over there. Don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out. Or go ahead and let it. I guarantee you nobody cares.

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